Thumbelina
by Starlit Skyline
Summary: Kanda, Lenalee, a book, a fairy-tale and a shared childhood moment.


Thumbelina  
><em>–Kanda, Lenalee, a book, a fairy-tale and a shared childhood moment.<em>

Kanda doesn't know why they even bother sending him away, like moving away will help him move on.

He knows it won't work, knows this new wound won't be as easy to heal as all the others had been. He knows it will stay raw and bleeding for a long time, maybe forever. So, really, it doesn't really matter in what hell-hole the Black Order holes him up next because he'll still be broken wherever they take him.

But there is no Alma in this new place, these new Headquarters, and there are no corpses littering the floor and no memories of their time together. And, he won't admit, it makes him feel – not better, he hasn't felt anything remotely good since Al... – but it makes him feel lighter, somehow, like he'd just woke up from a nightmare and continued to walk in some strange, unknown dream that still manages to be as dark and as bloody as the one before.

But there is no Alma here.

Alma is in the lotuses and the breeze and the lotuses. He is the thing he doesn't see when he opens his eyes and the ghost that haunts his dreams.

He is Kanda's first and only true friend and he's gone.

So, _why_ is that pig-tailed, oh so naïve girl trying to befriend him still? Why will she consider him a friend, even years from now, when they hadn't grown half an inch closer than their first meeting?

But Lenalee, Lenalee is the fresh, crisp air that somehow manages to be warm and soothing, her voice like a serene, babbling brook.

She doesn't even realize how much she's done for him, with just their first meeting. But Kanda remembers, if only because he never forgets.

"What the hell are you looking at? Either read or go away." – the first thing he ever said to her.

She'd looked at him, all wide, shy eyes and chagrin all over her face.

"You got a problem?" he'd growled.

"Do you?" she'd asked meekly, and if Kanda hadn't known any better, he might have mistaken her tone as concerned. He knew better.

"What?" he'd demanded icily.

She'd gulped, but pressed on none the less "Wanna talk about it?"

His only answer was flabbergasted silence. What. The. _Hell_?

What was this... _this_... Alma-impersonator – _no, don't think about it, don't you dare think about it!_ – trying to do here? She was mocking him, surely, but those soft, wide eyes held no disdain or hate and it was just so hard to convince himself otherwise.

Maybe, if he'd been thinking straight or if he hadn't been so bloody desperate for something in the dark, dark, horrifying world to make sense again, something to shield him from his own heart he might have walked away from his wide-eyed savior. But he hadn't, and it was one of those rare things he'd never quite come to regret like every other detail of this life.

"What are you reading?" he asked after a while, a low grumble more than anything.

Lenalee's smile could have rivaled the sun.

"Thumbelina." she chirped.

His face scrunched up into a frown "Excuse me?"

"Thumbelina. It's my favorite fairy-tale." Lenalee explains, smiling.

"It sounds stupid." he'd said without thinking, unconsciously slipping back into old habits and forgetting the child in front of him wasn't the child he'd grown up with. Lena wasn't Alma and she never would be, and for that, at least, Kanda was grateful.

Lenalee's pretty face wavered and twisted until she looked as though she might cry any second and though it usually wouldn't have, it sent a jolt of panic through Kanda.

"Don't judge the things you know nothing about!" Lenalee had shrieked, part indignant, part hurt though Kanda couldn't figure out why an insult to some fairy-tale would have such an effect on her. It wasn't like he was insulting _her _directly.

It was very hadn't to keep the scowl off his face, but he had attempted to rein in his temper even if he wasn't sure why he was even trying. "And what, exactly, is it about?" he'd asked, his voice was still hard and jagged, but not quite as angry. This effort would surely please Marie, he was always going on about how Kanda should try and make friends. Yeah, right, and then watch them die all over again.

Lenalee's face smoothed back into it's round, shy and smiling form.

"A girl," she suddenly looked uncertain, her voice trailing off „the size of a thumb...so small she could fit into the palm of your hand."

Kanda had raised an eye-brow at this. "Uh huh."

Another silence, though it was neither awkward or tense like the previous ones had been.

"I can read it to you, if you want." she offered after a while, looking at him as if in fear of his rejection. It was a shock to find out that he was suddenly important again – and not like a lab rat or a damaged and failed experiment – but like he'd been important to... his one friend.

Something was screaming in him, yelling and shrieking in pain and desperation and _get away, get away! I don't want to hurt you! Don't hurt me! Stay away! Don't go! No, no, no, please!_

But Lenalee's dark plum eyes, soft and wide and naïve and so damn inviting were still on him, watching him with a childish, expectant gaze. It was such a pure thing, so full of innocence and he hated it. He hated how it chained him down and made him unable to leave it for the world to tarnish and destroy like it had his first friend. He hated himself, because he was sure he'd be the one to bury it.

Still, he'd sat and consented with a soft, begrudging "Che."

Lenalee had giggled and shuffled the pages back to their beginning, reading in that hopelessly happy tone of hers that seemed to caress and sooth all the shadows of the hallways and the rainy clouds outside and the bleeding hole left in Kanda's chest all at once and without being asked to.

Kanda doesn't like fairy-tales, those cruel little things made for children and the stupid, naïvely hopeful people that actually believe in them and the promises of happily ever afters and family and friends and all the things he doesn't allow himself to have.

He doesn't.

After that day though, even years and eternities later, whenever he looks at Lenalee, sees her holding back tears and so broken and innocent and submerged in this world of tragedy and sin, biting her lip and smiling for all she was worth, he comes pretty close.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Uh, yeah, I just wanted an excuse to write something about Kanda and Lena. Pretty pointless, but it turned out pretty good in the end. Kanda is a fun character to write, once you get the hang of him. I hope I did him justice. Oh, I just wanted to point out that Kanda is 11, Lenalee is 8. Please feel free to leave me a review and tell me what you think! I'm all ears!<em>


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